he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
