I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
