i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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