Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
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if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize