you have to choose: penises or morals?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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