Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
now i know why i became what i already was.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
