the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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