She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize