Can Purell be used as lube?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
