Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
