Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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