There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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