So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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