i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
So. Much. Porn.
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