I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
