i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
