Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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