I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Randomize
