im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
