Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
