im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
