just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
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She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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