I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
