she smelled like a LAN party
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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