Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
