i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
