i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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