then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
we're so committed to being not committed
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