Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
