You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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