Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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