I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
