your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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