Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this just has baby written all over it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
