Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
my poor anus
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
