i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
