Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Less talking, more tequila
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
