Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize