i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
