Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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