I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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