New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh god it's open bar.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
