I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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