I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I deserve this hangover.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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