Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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