hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize