10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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