Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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