Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
