Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
please don't ironically join a cult
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