you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Drunk is not a location!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
