My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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