i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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