so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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