Can Purell be used as lube?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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