I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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