I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
