Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Come on in and take your pants off
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