distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
